Starr Hill Little Red RooStarr

Name:  Little Red RooStarr
Brewery:  Starr Hill
Style: Sweet Stout
Location: Crozet, Virginia
Alcohol: 5.4%

Quotes:  "This is one creamy cock...."  "...HAHAHAHA"

Aroma:  8/10, The best part of waking up is yadda yadda yadda
Appearance: 5/5, Big... black... rooster.  And that creamy foam, so delightful.
Taste:  9/10, Every morning, just after a hardy breakfast, I want my toothpaste to taste like this
Palate:  3/5, I hardly remember because I was too busy saying YUM, but it fills the mouth with feels
Overall:  25/30

In closing: A pretty good beer.  If someone happens to swing by with a growler of this fantastic stout, friends or not, you should punch them in the neck and take it from them.

Good for:  Sipping from your finest beer mug on a lazy Sunday morning while you sit comfortably in your pajamas and watch your elderly neighbors struggle to make their way to church in the icy snow.  Fuck'em.

New Belgium Slow Ride

Name:  Slow Ride
Brewery: New Belgium Brewing Company
Style:  Session IPA
Location: Fort Collins, Colorado
Alcohol: 4.5%

Quotes:  "SLOW RIDE DUR DUR DUR DAH DA DUR DAH TAKE IT EAAAASY"

Aroma:  7/10, Smells like a bouquet of boners
Appearance: 4/5, Clear gold with thick head
Taste: 5/10, Middle of the road on flavor but easy and drinkable
Palate: 4/5, Like drinking shaving cream
Overall: 20/30

In closing:  By definition, a session IPA is one that can be drank..drunk..dranken.. over the long term without the iffy side effects of time travel associated with just a regular high alcohol IPA.  The long term being a loose definition depending on the individual.  I could maybe have four of these before I would be considered dangerous with a rotary tiller.

Good for:  Applying generously when in need of a close shave.

Dominion Winter Brew (Baltic Porter)

Name:  Winter Brew Baltic Porter
Brewery: Old Dominion Brewing Company
Style:  Baltic Porter
Location: Dover, Delaware
Alcohol:  6.8%

Quotes:  "Hot fuck!  This is a good beer."  "Would be cool.. if there were like.. suckers flavored like this."

Aroma:  5/10, Didn't smell much
Appearance:  4/5, Dark, almost a deep maroon.  "Go Hokies!"
Taste:  9/10, Currently my favorite cake flavor
Palate:  2/5, Weak in the mouth but a bit of fizz livens the tongue
Overall:  20/30

In closing:  Had personally never heard of this beer nor have I known anyone to try it.  It was a pleasant surprise throughout.

Good for:  Sipping slowly from a firm rocking chair whilst staring dreamily into a cozy wood fire.