Starr Hill Little Red RooStarr

Name:  Little Red RooStarr
Brewery:  Starr Hill
Style: Sweet Stout
Location: Crozet, Virginia
Alcohol: 5.4%

Quotes:  "This is one creamy cock...."  "...HAHAHAHA"

Aroma:  8/10, The best part of waking up is yadda yadda yadda
Appearance: 5/5, Big... black... rooster.  And that creamy foam, so delightful.
Taste:  9/10, Every morning, just after a hardy breakfast, I want my toothpaste to taste like this
Palate:  3/5, I hardly remember because I was too busy saying YUM, but it fills the mouth with feels
Overall:  25/30

In closing: A pretty good beer.  If someone happens to swing by with a growler of this fantastic stout, friends or not, you should punch them in the neck and take it from them.

Good for:  Sipping from your finest beer mug on a lazy Sunday morning while you sit comfortably in your pajamas and watch your elderly neighbors struggle to make their way to church in the icy snow.  Fuck'em.

New Belgium Slow Ride

Name:  Slow Ride
Brewery: New Belgium Brewing Company
Style:  Session IPA
Location: Fort Collins, Colorado
Alcohol: 4.5%

Quotes:  "SLOW RIDE DUR DUR DUR DAH DA DUR DAH TAKE IT EAAAASY"

Aroma:  7/10, Smells like a bouquet of boners
Appearance: 4/5, Clear gold with thick head
Taste: 5/10, Middle of the road on flavor but easy and drinkable
Palate: 4/5, Like drinking shaving cream
Overall: 20/30

In closing:  By definition, a session IPA is one that can be drank..drunk..dranken.. over the long term without the iffy side effects of time travel associated with just a regular high alcohol IPA.  The long term being a loose definition depending on the individual.  I could maybe have four of these before I would be considered dangerous with a rotary tiller.

Good for:  Applying generously when in need of a close shave.

Dominion Winter Brew (Baltic Porter)

Name:  Winter Brew Baltic Porter
Brewery: Old Dominion Brewing Company
Style:  Baltic Porter
Location: Dover, Delaware
Alcohol:  6.8%

Quotes:  "Hot fuck!  This is a good beer."  "Would be cool.. if there were like.. suckers flavored like this."

Aroma:  5/10, Didn't smell much
Appearance:  4/5, Dark, almost a deep maroon.  "Go Hokies!"
Taste:  9/10, Currently my favorite cake flavor
Palate:  2/5, Weak in the mouth but a bit of fizz livens the tongue
Overall:  20/30

In closing:  Had personally never heard of this beer nor have I known anyone to try it.  It was a pleasant surprise throughout.

Good for:  Sipping slowly from a firm rocking chair whilst staring dreamily into a cozy wood fire.

Chaos Mountain Mad Hopper

Name:  Mad Hopper
Brewery:  Chaos Mountain Brewing Company
Style:  IPA
Location:  Callaway, Virginia
Alcohol:  6.7%

Quotes:  "This is what I imagine melted horse hooves to taste like"  "You imagine a lot of weird shit"

Aroma:  6/10, Smells like hops
Appearance:  2/5, Very amber, low head.  A little like southern style sweet tea
Taste:  6/10, Hops in the front, malt in the middle, bitter in the tail.  Rabbit reference.
Palate:  2/5, Weak mouth feel, tiny bit acidic
Overall:  16/30

In closing:  Pretty decent for a hoppy beer from a small brewery.  Nice bottle art, drinkable IPA, almost session-esque if not for nearly 7% alcohol.

Good for:  Slow sippage on a football saturday and for fans of Alice in Wonderland.

Post Road Pumpkin Ale

Name:  Post Road Pumpkin Ale
Brewery:  Brooklyn Brewery
Style:  Pumpkin
Location:  Brooklyn, New York
Alcohol:  5%

Quotes:  "This might taste like pumpkin"

Aroma:  4/10, Not as strong of an aroma you might wish for with a pumpkin ale
Appearance:  2/5, About a one inch head atop murky pisswater
Taste:  3/10, Tastes like dead leaves strained into fresh piss
Palate:  3/5, Carbonation lasts
Overall:  12/30

In closing:  Chicks dig pumpkin beers this time of year.  The only way they'll be digging this one is if you bury it in the backyard.

Good for:  Burying in the backyard

Unibroue La Fin du Monde

Name:  La Fin du Monde
Brewery:  Unibroue
Style:  Abbey Tripel
Location:  Chambly, Canada
Alcohol:  9%

Quotes:  "Fuck. Is this good?"  "This tastes like banana peels dipped in motor oil but I might like it"

Aroma:  7/10, Rich smells of fruit, namely banana
Appearance:  2/5, Dull dark color, thick head.  A little murky and unattractive
Taste:  6/10, Full of many different flavors like banana and caramel with a bit of a toast and jam kick
Palate:  5/5, Good mouth feel.  Thick beer with full body.  Like Jennifer Lopez is in your mouth.
Overall:  20/30

In Closing:  My beer palate is probably undeserving of this beer.  I can tell it's good. I can tell it's appreciated by beer lovers.  I'm not in love with it but perhaps with a more refined palate, I can be.

Good for:  Pouring over pancakes.

Mythos

Name:  Mythos
Brewery:  Mythos Breweries
Style:  Pale Lager
Location:  Sindos, Greece
Alcohol:  4.7%

Quotes:  "I expected worse"

Aroma:  4/10, Light malt, light hop.  Light beer, what'd you expect?
Appearance:  3/5, Tall white head, clear golden pour.  Like piss.
Taste:  5/10, Not overly flavorful but what's there tastes good.
Palate:  3/5, Medium body, mildly fizzy
Overall:  15/30

In Closing:  A light beer from across the pond typically tastes better than any light beer you'll find mass marketed in the states and this one is no different.  The light hint of malts on the back end of it are very tasty.  The kind of beer you could chug in the hot sun and then throw up on a roller coaster.

Good for:  Tricking someone into drinking piss.